![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hxllxwgastso i got hyperfixated on something new.
i've been watching this one youtuber named tom scott for a while, and he has a series with his friends named citation needed. its a cool little gameshow where he pulls up a random wikipedia article and the others have to guess what its about just from what he tells them. its very fun and cool and nice to listen to while i play or draw aaaaaaaaand i bingewatched all the seasons a week before going back to school.
i love all the guys on the show. they're all fun and have very nice personalities that lead to a lot of weird banter, and i mean like, a lot. (i'm still laughing at their "condiments on toast" debate) in particular, i was kind of very drawn to tom and matt's chemistry together. they have a separate youtube channel together, where they talk about a lot of things, and they're sort of close friends, and i love them both, and oh no you know where this is heading, i started shipping them.
so, citation needed has virtually no fanbase. of course, there are people who are fans of the show, but there's no fandom like i'm used to being in. so i kept to myself about these dudes, occasionally trying to make my friends watch it or screaming about it ("OH GOD THAT WAS SUCH A GAY MOMENT", "OMG WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY", "PLEASE LOOK AT THIS SCREENCAP") on my whatsapp story.
i started talking to a girl who also watched them, and shipped them, and that was it, and i was happy with that.
eventually, i got an idea for a fic about them, named "a thing or two i might not know" (a sort of bad joke on tom's series "things you might not know") where tom has an identity crisis and matt tries to help him figure shit out, and they fall in love in the process. and i started writing, made a little writing playlist, even a moodboard based on it last night when i was starting to be short on inspiration. all while talking to said girl who kept encouraging me to write more.
aaaaaaaaaand then something happened (big, complicated mess on twitter, that would deserve its own post) and said girl said she was taking a break from their content.
and now i have a dilemma: keep writing atotimnk while receiving no validation (which is literally my Only driving force when writing) or scrap it all completely considering no one else would read it except for her and she wont even want to read it now.
idk. maybe i should keep writing it but not post it..? it is coming along nicely and i have good ideas for it. but also, whats the point of fic if no one gets to read it???
i've been watching this one youtuber named tom scott for a while, and he has a series with his friends named citation needed. its a cool little gameshow where he pulls up a random wikipedia article and the others have to guess what its about just from what he tells them. its very fun and cool and nice to listen to while i play or draw aaaaaaaaand i bingewatched all the seasons a week before going back to school.
i love all the guys on the show. they're all fun and have very nice personalities that lead to a lot of weird banter, and i mean like, a lot. (i'm still laughing at their "condiments on toast" debate) in particular, i was kind of very drawn to tom and matt's chemistry together. they have a separate youtube channel together, where they talk about a lot of things, and they're sort of close friends, and i love them both, and oh no you know where this is heading, i started shipping them.
so, citation needed has virtually no fanbase. of course, there are people who are fans of the show, but there's no fandom like i'm used to being in. so i kept to myself about these dudes, occasionally trying to make my friends watch it or screaming about it ("OH GOD THAT WAS SUCH A GAY MOMENT", "OMG WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY", "PLEASE LOOK AT THIS SCREENCAP") on my whatsapp story.
i started talking to a girl who also watched them, and shipped them, and that was it, and i was happy with that.
eventually, i got an idea for a fic about them, named "a thing or two i might not know" (a sort of bad joke on tom's series "things you might not know") where tom has an identity crisis and matt tries to help him figure shit out, and they fall in love in the process. and i started writing, made a little writing playlist, even a moodboard based on it last night when i was starting to be short on inspiration. all while talking to said girl who kept encouraging me to write more.
aaaaaaaaaand then something happened (big, complicated mess on twitter, that would deserve its own post) and said girl said she was taking a break from their content.
and now i have a dilemma: keep writing atotimnk while receiving no validation (which is literally my Only driving force when writing) or scrap it all completely considering no one else would read it except for her and she wont even want to read it now.
idk. maybe i should keep writing it but not post it..? it is coming along nicely and i have good ideas for it. but also, whats the point of fic if no one gets to read it???
